Secrets

Some secrets are necessary, not that it gets easier knowing that, but it is true.

For the past two years J. and I have been dreaming about it the same way a child dreams of Christmas - it's that ethereal ideal that seems to be just out of reach and takes eons to arrive.  To compound our agony our plans have had to remain at least partially secret.

You see, I'm still working and to suggest that I have plans to leave could significantly impact the relationship we've got.  I don't know many employers who reward anything less than complete loyalty, so I labour on and try not to discuss my plans.  But man, is it hard.

This is the single biggest decision that J. and I have made in our time together.  Bigger than buying a house, bigger than having children.  It's exciting, scary and huge - and I can't talk about it with the people I spend all day around.  Good thing I don't get invited to many surprise parties.

For now though I'll continue keeping quiet and biding my time.  Once we are closer to leaving I'll be able to let the cat out of the bag but until then it's business as usual.  I'd rather be safe and secure than share the dream too soon.

What about you?  Would you keep quiet or shout it from the rooftops?